“By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.”
If I had to pick one thing that I would love to master, it would be planning. This simple word seems so easy to do, and it usually comes natural for people who absolutely love to plan; however, it is definitely not something I do very well especially when it comes to planning my meals out for the week. When I think about it, I can be a phenomenal planner when it comes to throwing a party or even making plans to hang out with friends, but I absolutely STINK at planning meals ahead of time especially when I get busy. I think that is one of the major things that set me up for failure is my lack of planning because it requires me to prioritize myself. It’s very easy for me to pack my husband’s lunch and make him breakfast every morning because I don’t mind doing it, but it’s hard for me to do it for myself because I don’t prioritize myself. I know a lot of you know where I’m coming from especially the ladies because I think it’s natural for us to put others before ourselves and forget ourselves in the midst of life and all the craziness it brings with it. Even though at the moment, it seems like we are doing good by helping others out especially our loved ones, but are we really doing good if we forget ourselves because we get so tangled up with helping everyone else? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying not to help anyone out because it’s all about you; however, what I’m trying to point is that it’s not doing any good for anyone if we don’t take time to take of ourselves because we are doing a huge disservice to our own sanity. It’s all about balance, and I really believe that is what is life is all about. Even though it makes sense logically in my mind, it is extremely hard for me to practice this. So I’ve been trying to practice planning in my mind and taking actions to prepare my lunches and meals ahead of time especially when I know there are certain days that I won’t have time to prepare it. This has been a huge accomplishment because in the past I just end up making excuses and not preparing meals ahead of time which then results with me going through the drive thru and choosing the not-so-healthy foods. Benjamin Franklin is right about failing if you don’t make prepare. If I don’t take the necessary steps to plan ahead of time, then I will end up failing by not making the greatest food choices. It’s taking me slow steps to do this especially prioritizing myself; however, I am very proud of myself because I accidentally booked my dog’s vet appointment during my Weight Watchers meeting, so in the past I would just cancel my Weight Watchers meeting; however, I am not doing that. Instead I’m going to have Jerry take Marshmallow to the vet while I go to my meeting. Did I feel guilty for doing that? A little bit but I had to stop and remind myself that I have to take time for me and take care of myself, and that it’s okay for Jerry to take our dog to the vet since I don’t think they would be cry and throw a tantrum if I didn’t go. 😉 The quote from Benjamin Franklin will be a true test for me nest week since school is on the verge of getting busy. My challenge for next week is preparing all my meals ahead of time in order for me not go through the drive thru. Wish me luck!
First, I want to say thank you to everyone for the love and support you have given me when I posted my first blog. I’m always in awe on how much people truly love and care for me! It means a lot for people to take time out of their busy schedules to read my posts, and I just want to say that I’m grateful for each and everyone of you! You will be happy to know that I’m down 3 pounds since I’ve started!
Before you read this post, please take the time to watch the video I posted above. Throughout this week, I was thinking about what song would fit perfectly with this new journey that I’m embarking, and the first thing that came to my mind was the Beatles song, Help! Reading through the lyrics just seemed be exactly what I need and will continue to need in the future. I’m going to need people to help me through this weight loss journey. When I was younger, I never asked for help and support especially when it came to me trying to lose weight, and I think that’s one of the many reasons why I ended up failing time and time again. This week has went by fast, but the overwhelming support and love that I’ve gotten from family and friends have been truly amazing and wonderful. I find that the more I share my story and tell people that I’m trying to lose weight, the more support and love I get. For instance, we began a weekly get together on Mondays with my friends to do dinner, and one of my friends volunteered to do dinner yesterday. So last week as we were trying to make plans for Monday, she asked if there are certain things I can’t have since she was going to make spaghetti. She willingly offered to alter her recipe by swapping ground beef to ground turkey and doing whole wheat pasta. When she made this offer, it meant a lot to me because it shows that she really wants me to succeed and want to make sure she does not set me up for failure. On top of that, my friends and I have been working out together, and we are wanting to try out new and fun workouts which is great because I think it’s more fun to workout with others rather than by yourself. The accountability that my friends and family have given me just this past week has been great, and it means so much to me because it shows me that I’m really not doing this alone. I know that I shouldn’t feel ashamed to ask for help; however, it’s always difficult to ask for help because naturally I want to do it on my own. But….doing it all by myself won’t work because there are going to be hard days when I just want to give up, and if I do it by myself, there won’t be anyone there to pick me up and say, “Don’t give it up cause it’s not worth it!” Most importantly, I’ve got to learn to ask for help when I fall, and I know I’m not going to do things perfectly cause I’m not perfect and will hit roadblocks along the way; however, if I just stop what I’m doing and listen to that Beatles song, it will help me to re-focus and know that it’s okay to ask for help. If one of the most popular and successful music group can write a song saying there’s going to be times they’re going to need people to help them, then I think I can do it too! 😉
Wanted to re-amp before pictures and not make them so boring! Hope you like!
Here is a picture of me right before my weigh in on January 12, 2014.
Life + Challenges= New chapter.
The word challenges always brings mixed emotions to me. It’s that feeling of anxiety, excitement, and nervousness all rolled into one big emotional roller coaster, but I’m not one to ever shy away from a challenge especially when it comes during a time when I need a new challenge that will really test me emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. You maybe wondering what this challenge that I’m referring to, and please excuse me, if I’m a bit apprehensive to come out and say it because I’m not one to really share my personal demon for everyone to read. But I guess that’s what is so intriguing about blogs because I view it as a journal; however, the major difference is that people can read it which then helps me to be held accountable. Plus I find it very therapeutic to talk about my problems. So enough of me blubbering away…er….blabbing away. As the title refers, you may already know what this new challenge that has crept into my life unexpectedly.
So here’s what happened. Few nights ago as I was watching one of my guilty pleasures aka Couples Therapy, I received an email from my college’s gym. When I opened the email, it only contained a link with a note saying Shape Up and Ship Out which me being like cat that’s is just curious about everything and anything, I immediately had to go to link to see what this trap, I mean link was. Following the link was a 12 week challenge to lose weight and get in shape. Winner gets a $500.00 gift certificate to put towards a cruise. One would think the word challenge was what intrigued me; however, it was the word CRUISE that got me really going on especially if it’s a free one since I’m all about free stuff….let’s be honest…who WOULDN’T be? I’m not one to fully think that this was mere coincidence because this challenge has come into my life at a time where I’ m about to start a new chapter in my life, but the one thing that has been holding me back from being fully proud of myself is my weight. When I look at everything that I have in my life, I am completely and 100% happy with my wonderful marriage to an extremely loving and supportive husband, my family that truly believes in me and supports me, and my huge and tight group of friends that has been there through the hardest and weakest moments of my life. However, the one thing that I can honestly say that makes me extremely unhappy is my weight. I cringe when I hear the words, “Let’s take a picture!” because I know that I have to face looking at the image of myself, so I avoid taking pictures, and even when I have to, I try to bolt out of the room so I don’t have to face looking at what I have done to myself. This new chapter that I am about to enter has been filled with accomplishments, and one of the biggest accomplishments is getting my bachelor’s degree in May. Honestly, when I walk down that aisle to get my diploma, I want to be COMPLETELY happy with my life including my weight because I would have accomplished everything I wanted, and I want to walk down that aisle and not be ashamed to take pictures because it is a moment in my life that I should be fully proud of including my weight. You see my husband and I moved to Mississippi a couple of years ago, and during that time, I had lost about 50 lbs. Well, as one would know and understand, life tends to bring about a lot of changes and challenges. I found myself slowly gaining the weight and not ever getting control of it because I struggle with prioritizing myself. Dealing with a new move away from my family, working for a short period of time before going to school full time, and the biggest challenge was dealing with the emotional scars that developed during my time in Florida added weight not just emotionally but also physically. But enough of the excuses, I know I am ultimately at fault for gaining the weight, and now that the awareness is there, I need to take it and make it a learning lesson.
My weight has always been the inner demon that has sabotaged my life and prohibited me from being completely happy with myself. Throughout the day, I find myself constantly thinking about my weight or comparing myself to others. Not only has it consumed my life, but it also has taken a lot of my happiness, and quite honestly, I can say that I have hit rock bottom. Since I am pursuing my master’s degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling, I believe it is extremely important for me to “practice what I preach”. If I’m suppose to tell my future clients to take care of themselves by making sure they prioritize taking time for themselves and taking care of their health then I need to do the same. I just can’t be the type of counselor that tells them these things but yet doesn’t even implement it in my own life. That right there wouldn’t make me an effective counselor, and I can’t live life like that. In order for me to be successful with this weight loss, I have decided to blog once a week about my progress and struggles along with posting pictures of my progress. Below you will see pictures of the old me. Pictures that I will embrace wholeheartedly and not look down negatively because I believe in order to be successful in this weight loss I to embrace the person I am now and take the steps to changing myself from the old me to the new and healthier me. So weight loss journey….I EMBRACE you wholeheartedly and I’m ready to take on the NEW challenges for 2014!