Monthly Archives: February 2014

Since When Did Numbers Get SO Big??

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I’ve always wandered when did society get so caught up with the numbers on the scale?  I definitely know that I’m not the only one who has jumped on the bandwagon of being obsessed with the numbers on the scale because I used to weigh myself not just once a day but up to FIVE times a day!  When I think about it now, it just doesn’t make sense on what I was doing, but sure enough, those three tiny, measly numbers had such an impact on me that I found myself weighing myself multiple times throughout the day.  It’s crazy to think that these numbers could control my life in such a negative and unhealthy way.  Even though I’ve made a conscious effort to only weight myself once or twice a week, it still takes a lot of work for me to try not to weigh myself more than two times throughout the week because I know if I get caught up with the numbers on the scale especially if I gain weight then it would ruin me emotionally.  I find that the negative thoughts and guilt start creeping into my mind, and one would think that it would give me the drive to lose the weight; however, it ends up doing the complete opposite.  I end up getting depressed, and the depression leads me to start stress eating.  My definition of stress eating is not grabbing an apple but grabbing the biggest bag of potato chips and french onion dip!  At that moment, I feel as though nothing in the world would make me feel better but only the junkiest, greasiest, and the unhealthiest food can save and cure me from the woes of weight gain. For a moment it does make me feel good…..but it’s only for just a moment.  That moment of shoving several (more like the whole bag) grease laden potato chips and feeling sorry for myself because I’ve been defeated by the weight gain monster.  But after that moment of so called heavenly bliss, I find myself feeling completely sick and even more depressed for gorging myself to the point that one would have thought I hadn’t eaten for days.  I know it doesn’t make sense, but let’s think about this.  When you get angry, do you think logically or do you tend to react and do things by how you feel at that moment?  More than likely, you don’t think logically and you end up making irrational decisions based on how you currently feel. It’s the same way for people like me who struggle with their weight.  In my mind, the scale is just more than a number because it becomes a dictator of my feelings and ultimately my life.  When the scale moves in a direction that I don’t want it to, then it controls my feelings, and it shouldn’t be like that because there are bigger and better things than just stepping on the square-shaped platform of emotion killer!  I think what causes me to get so caught up on the scale is I can visually see the numbers go up or down, and I can’t necessarily see the inches that I’ve lost or even the energy I feel after eating a wholesome, balance meal.  I really have to constantly train my mind to remember the other perks of losing weight because it’s more than just the numbers on the scale.  It’s more about the future and being healthier as I get older.  This is a journey not a short trek to lose a lot of weight in a short amount of time because I’m dealing with more than just my physical appearance.  I’m dealing with my mental and emotional feelings too which takes time to train it to be healthy.  That’s one of the main reasons why I’m a huge advocate for losing weight slowly because your mental and emotional well being has to have time to catch up to your physical appearance.  Think about it, if you were to lose a huge amount of weight in a short amount of time, you end up getting extremely excited about all the pounds you’ve lost in a short of amount of time which then causes you to feel happy and ecstatic.  But what happens when you lose all that weight?  Did you have time to properly train your mind to make right food choices when you don’t have time to eat the planned out meal you prepared yourself because something unexpected happened or preparing your mind for when you gain the weight?  For me, it takes time for me to train my mind to be positive even when the numbers go up and to train my mind not to run to the junk food that I think will be my savior for the moment but to sit back and think about what I need to do differently to prevent me from gaining the weight. This weight journey of mine has not yielded fast weight loss because I don’t want it to be like that.  I recognize that I’m working on my emotional and mental well being which is just as important, and in order for me to make healthy habits and keep the weight off, it’s going to take a journey of up and downs, tears and sweat, and weight gain monsters for me to get there.  As the caption from the above picture says, “Fed up with how her diet is going, Charlene takes a more serious aim at her target weight.”  The serious aim for me is to not let it get me down!

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I’m on Top of the World!

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I'm on Top of the World!

Actually, I’m really not on top of the world; however, I am ecstatic to share with you that I’m one of the top 15 women who lost the most weight for the Shape Up and Ship Out challenge! I weighed in last week and just received this email today! This came at a perfect time because I was in the middle of texting my friend about what topics I should blog about on my weight loss journey. This email will be a reminder for me to keep on doing what I’m doing and not to lose focus on my goal of wanting to win this cruise, and of course, to be healthier and happier!
I know I didn’t blog last week, but it was a crazy, busy week filled with a snow day, my trip to Memphis to watch Wicked with some of the greatest girls I know, and last but not least, celebrating my hubby’s birthday! Wow! I need to take a breather just from typing all that out! Even in the midst of unexpected surprises such as the snow day along with expected surprises like taking my husband on a picnic and watching a movie, I was able to squeeze in two Weight Watchers meetings by accident this week because I originally thought I wouldn’t be able to make it to my Saturday meeting, so I ended up just going in to weigh in on Friday. However, my schedule allowed me to attend my Saturday meeting which I’m extremely happy that I did. I lost almost 2 pounds last week which has been the most weight I’ve lost since I’ve started this journey about a month ago. To some people, that may not seem a lot, but for someone like me who has tried ALL the diets in the world from the grapefruit diet to the Atkins diet, this is huge because the last couple of years, I’ve not been able to lose any weight with any type of diets. I don’t like to say Weight Watchers is a diet because it really isn’t. I don’t ever feel deprived, and if I want a piece of cake, then I can have it as long as I plan for it and not get a GIGANTIC slice! Weight Watchers allows me to not only work on my outward appearance, but it also allows me to work on my inner self because it challenges me to take extra time to think about why exactly do I want to eat something junky whether it’s because I’m stressed or bored. Once I figure out the reason why I want to eat the deliciously, greasy potato chips, then I’m able to say no and choose something healthier to eat. Planning my meals out and packing my lunches have been a huge time saver for me! Even though it takes me a couple of hours to make the weekly dinners and lunches, it saves me so much time during the week because I don’t have to worry about it at all. It makes time management heavenly because I’m able to spend more time on things that I enjoy along with other things that I don’t really enjoy such as studying. 😉 But nonetheless, everything is all about give and take, so I guess I can’t complain too much! It’s been an amazing week, and I’m looking forward to many more to come in the future!

My First Weight Loss Reward!

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My First Weight Loss Reward!

Hi guys! I know it seems like it’s been forever since I wrote my last post; however, I did not forget about you guys! I actually wanted to wait until today to blog because I got my very first weight loss reward! At my Weight Watchers meeting, if you attend four weeks straight, you get a key chain. This Saturday marked not only me attending all of my meetings for four straight weeks, but it also marks exactly one month since I’ve started my weight loss journey. It’s pretty crazy how FAST time goes! Between school, keeping up with the wifely chores, and doing this weight loss….it’s been crazy, fun, and challenging all at the same time! I’ve hit some minor roadblocks such as today because I ended up gaining a very small amount (.2 to be exact), so that kind of put a damper to things especially since I planned all my meals and measured everything I ate, but I tried to get the negative thoughts out of mind and started to refocus on my cute little key chain that I got. For those who know me, I absolutely love cute little knit knack things, and this key chain means a lot to me because it shows that I’ve consistently prioritized myself and made a point to go to my meetings religiously. Honestly, I love my meetings because every week I go, I’m forming relationships and a strong bond with the ladies that go there. It’s comforting to know that I’m not the only one struggling with this. This key chain is a huge reward for me because it makes me look back at this month to see what changes I’ve made such as planning out my weekly meals when I know I won’t have time at all during the week to cook or even pack my lunch. I’ve been consistently tracking everything I eat and measuring out my meals. Those two things alone are quite a challenge for me! I still have a lot of changes to make but that will take time. Even though I haven’t lost as much as I wanted to this month, I have to remind myself of the small lifestyle changes that I’m making that end up making a HUGE impact along with working on my thoughts and kicking out anything that is negative. I’m happy to report that my clothes are getting bigger, and that I’ve lost a total of 5 pounds this month. But what has been the most important thing is how I feel. I’m more energized and not tired at all. I’m slowly incorporating exercising such as Zumba which my friends and I still consistently do even though there are times when we just don’t feel like it; however, there’s always someone in our group that forces us to do it because it makes us feel better at the end. The huge amount of support I’ve been getting from everyone has been so overwhelming for me because it shows that everyone believes in me and knows I can do it. Here’s to one month and many more to come! Wish me luck on Monday because I’ll be doing my FIRST weigh in for the Shape Up and Ship Out challenge at my school!