I’ve always wandered when did society get so caught up with the numbers on the scale? I definitely know that I’m not the only one who has jumped on the bandwagon of being obsessed with the numbers on the scale because I used to weigh myself not just once a day but up to FIVE times a day! When I think about it now, it just doesn’t make sense on what I was doing, but sure enough, those three tiny, measly numbers had such an impact on me that I found myself weighing myself multiple times throughout the day. It’s crazy to think that these numbers could control my life in such a negative and unhealthy way. Even though I’ve made a conscious effort to only weight myself once or twice a week, it still takes a lot of work for me to try not to weigh myself more than two times throughout the week because I know if I get caught up with the numbers on the scale especially if I gain weight then it would ruin me emotionally. I find that the negative thoughts and guilt start creeping into my mind, and one would think that it would give me the drive to lose the weight; however, it ends up doing the complete opposite. I end up getting depressed, and the depression leads me to start stress eating. My definition of stress eating is not grabbing an apple but grabbing the biggest bag of potato chips and french onion dip! At that moment, I feel as though nothing in the world would make me feel better but only the junkiest, greasiest, and the unhealthiest food can save and cure me from the woes of weight gain. For a moment it does make me feel good…..but it’s only for just a moment. That moment of shoving several (more like the whole bag) grease laden potato chips and feeling sorry for myself because I’ve been defeated by the weight gain monster. But after that moment of so called heavenly bliss, I find myself feeling completely sick and even more depressed for gorging myself to the point that one would have thought I hadn’t eaten for days. I know it doesn’t make sense, but let’s think about this. When you get angry, do you think logically or do you tend to react and do things by how you feel at that moment? More than likely, you don’t think logically and you end up making irrational decisions based on how you currently feel. It’s the same way for people like me who struggle with their weight. In my mind, the scale is just more than a number because it becomes a dictator of my feelings and ultimately my life. When the scale moves in a direction that I don’t want it to, then it controls my feelings, and it shouldn’t be like that because there are bigger and better things than just stepping on the square-shaped platform of emotion killer! I think what causes me to get so caught up on the scale is I can visually see the numbers go up or down, and I can’t necessarily see the inches that I’ve lost or even the energy I feel after eating a wholesome, balance meal. I really have to constantly train my mind to remember the other perks of losing weight because it’s more than just the numbers on the scale. It’s more about the future and being healthier as I get older. This is a journey not a short trek to lose a lot of weight in a short amount of time because I’m dealing with more than just my physical appearance. I’m dealing with my mental and emotional feelings too which takes time to train it to be healthy. That’s one of the main reasons why I’m a huge advocate for losing weight slowly because your mental and emotional well being has to have time to catch up to your physical appearance. Think about it, if you were to lose a huge amount of weight in a short amount of time, you end up getting extremely excited about all the pounds you’ve lost in a short of amount of time which then causes you to feel happy and ecstatic. But what happens when you lose all that weight? Did you have time to properly train your mind to make right food choices when you don’t have time to eat the planned out meal you prepared yourself because something unexpected happened or preparing your mind for when you gain the weight? For me, it takes time for me to train my mind to be positive even when the numbers go up and to train my mind not to run to the junk food that I think will be my savior for the moment but to sit back and think about what I need to do differently to prevent me from gaining the weight. This weight journey of mine has not yielded fast weight loss because I don’t want it to be like that. I recognize that I’m working on my emotional and mental well being which is just as important, and in order for me to make healthy habits and keep the weight off, it’s going to take a journey of up and downs, tears and sweat, and weight gain monsters for me to get there. As the caption from the above picture says, “Fed up with how her diet is going, Charlene takes a more serious aim at her target weight.” The serious aim for me is to not let it get me down!